Even a Hungry Grandma Won’t Eat Babies
The Little Mushroom Man has disappeared from her parents’ bedroom. In his place is a large, old woman who almost seems human, if not for her head being as wide as her body, making her look kind of like a fish woman.
She sits on the queen sized bed, gobbling something up. Willi can’t quite make it out and she’s trying not to stare. What is the polite thing to do here? To walk away and leave her to her eating? Knock and make Willi’s presence known? Surely just standing here isn’t the answer.
Before Willi can make a choice, the woman looks up and stares at her, taking two big sniffs.
“Human!” she calls. “But a little one…”
“Yes, I’m Willi.”
“Been a long time since I’ve seen one of you.” Hungry Grandma crawls to the edge of the bed and sniffs more. “You smell so delicate.”
Willi swallows, trying to figure out if “delicate” is a good or bad thing here.
But Hungry Grandma shakes her head. “But you’re too young! Too young! I don’t eat babies! I won’t go that far!”
“You consider me a baby?” Willi asks.
“Anyone who isn’t as old as I am is a baby,” Hungry Grandma tells her before casually patting the spot next to her. “Come, sit!”
Willi, cautiously, walks up and sits next to Hungry Grandma.
“You’re young, but well alive it seems,” Hungry Grandma says as she looks Willi up and down. “How did you get into this place all by yourself?”
“The House Thief thought my house was empty,” Willi tells her.
“Bah! That old fool!” Hungry Grandma spits. It boils on the hardwood floor. “He’s been off his game lately. Before, they took a house that had three cats in it.”
“Are they okay?” Willi asks.
Hungry Grandma waves her off. “Oh, they’re fine. They’re cats! Cats survive anything.”
“You sound like you know House Thief,” Willi notes.
“We’ve run into each other here and there. I like to see the houses he brings in before he eats them.”
“Were you—er, are you…human?”
Hungry Grandma pauses, then slouches. “You were right the first time. I was human. I don’t know what I am anymore. I want nothing more than to go home, but I can’t exactly go looking like this. Besides, there’s only one thing there that could satiate my hunger.”
Again, Hungry Grandma looks Willi up and down and any connection Willi felt wobbles and breaks.
“Do you know where a house deed might be?” Willi asks, wanting now to end the conversation.
“Oh, you’re still new here, aren’t you?” Hungry Grandma says. “It doesn’t matter where a house deed might be, it’s not there now. Nothing is where it should be and there’s plenty where it shouldn’t. Things move, things disappear, things get added. Nothing makes sense here. I wouldn’t be shocked if that house deed of yours is all the way in the pipes of Russia now!”
Willi’s eyes go wide, desperate and distraught. “But I need it! I need proof to show that I live here, or House Thief won’t give my house back!”
“Well, the deed likely won’t help you much,” Hungry Grandma snickers. “It’s likely your family’s name on it, not yours. You’re just a child.”
Willi’s heart drops even further into her stomach. So there was no chance? The solution she was chasing after was never going to help her in the first place?
“I wouldn’t worry too much, dear,” Hungry Grandma continues. “They’re stingy with their houses, yes, but they’re very kind. I’m sure once the house is done, they’ll take care of you and find you a way back home.”
“But I want my house!”
“Well,” Hungry Grandma sighs, “it is best to get used to disappointment young.”
Willi huffs! She hops off the bed! She stomps her feet! And she leaves the room!
Thank you so much for reading! Next week is a short break, then the week after will be Chapter 13 of Stolen House. Here’s a crumb—it’s a doozy.